Oh, you love me! You really love me! So sweet of you all!
(Applause tapers off) …
It is a pleasure to visit The Daily Corgi once more, following my debut a month ago. As you can see, I am in finer fettle now than I was then, and ready for new fans.
I want to thank the members of the Corgi Academy, and my agent Jeanette, and my loving family, AnnMarie and Bill, and all those unnamed people who have helped me along the way.
I will cherish this award always. Mwaaaa!
[Summer exits stage and heads over for her backstage interview].
Now that my role as the poor shy rescued waif is over and I have accepted my well deserved accolades, I am ready for a new cast of characters! Oh, I do hope that my next role will be different. That shrinking violet act was starting to feel real, even to me! Frankly, I have neglected my natural sass for too long!
How was I so believable? Why, method acting! Like Brando! I trained under the great Grand Corgi of Stanislavski, himself! You may have read his trilogy of books set in a fictional foster home: A Corgi Prepares, Building a Corgi, and Corgi-ing a Role.
Did you see me in the film noir remake, The Big Snack? One of my best roles! A masterpiece of cinematography! Oh, and you can just feel the tension build as I look longingly at my costar (good old what’s his name or … her name). You can see it in my eyes, debating whether to close the distance between us for that blissful embrace … or not. I am really more of a “bubble” kind of girl. I like my space.
Well, let me tell you a bit about what I can bring to an acting role for your next project.
I can dance and sing (well, bark).
I have the ingénue act down pat. I am very convincing at playing timid; all afraid of loud noises and fast movement.
Want a grand entrance at your next party? Well, I have mastered the grand entrance. I simply push the kitchen gate out of the way (damn paparazzi) and waltz into the living room pretty as you please. Yes, photographs are fine. No, I am not giving autographs tonight.
I am quickly becoming a dab hand at directing as well. It appears to be in my nature.
So, if you are looking to cast a slim, sexy, sassy Corgi of a certain age, check out my headshot and bio at Petfinder or contact Corgi Connection of Kansas for my booking dates and fees; drop an e-mail to email@example.com.
No, I am not interested in playing a witch, you can just send that script to Meryl Streep. Put a B in front and maybe we can talk.