Hi, I’m Zoey. You may know me from other internationally popular media outlets such as Corgi Connection of Kansas or Facebook. I am here to talk about an important service and what this service can mean to your life. I want to talk to you about taking on a personal life coach.
Not long ago, my life was out of control. I was just two years old and pregnant. Due to complications with the pregnancy, a happy ending was not guaranteed (hush yourself, everyone is fine). Despite my rocky start, or maybe “because of”, I knew in my heart that I was destined for greatness.
It is in my genes. I was born to lead; to forge a path for who lack direction; to provide comfort to those who hurt; to keep on task those who are disorganized.
Great achievements come from great coaching.
After my near death experience, I was given a second chance to make something of myself. I got myself spayed, chipped, UTD on all medical, and even flea and tick. Now I am ready to pass my good fortune on to others who are in need.
Corgi Connection of Kansas, “dedicated to improving the lives of Kansas families one corgi at a time”, located my first needy family. As soon as I met the “Foster family”, I knew this would be no ordinary challenge. This family included multiple humans, dogs, and, even a cat!
No stranger to the human condition, I started by applying Maslow’s 1954 theory of human motivation, the Hierarchy of Needs. Let me explain. You see, before you can hope to encourage behaviors such as love, or ummmm, schedules, you must first secure both the humans’ feelings of psychological and physical safety. As a first step, I took over the safety of all valuable resources (such as food and toys). I am proud to say that, under my firm guidance, we have established sufficient order that I no longer feel compelled to guard the community’s resources. In fact, I would say that our communal meals have become a highlight of the day. Surprisingly, the cat and I saw “eye to eye” from the very beginning.
Once the safety and health of the community were assured, I was free to attend to the Foster’s other needs: feelings of love and belonging (through application of couch time cuddles); feelings of being needed and valued (by reinforcing the importance of regular walk and feed times). I believe that, with work, this family will finally discover their own purpose and path in life.
I am particularly proud of my orchestration of a successful Thanksgiving soiree. It was touch a go, as one of the staff came down lame and I had to keep close watch on her for signs of distress. The visiting humans were so effusive in their praise of my accomplishments with the Foster family! I can’t help but preen a little.
However, it is said that all good things must come to an end and I feel that my time with this family is doing just that. Like Mary Poppins, I know that I have done my job well when my services are no longer needed. Thanksgiving taught me that, at last, my work here is now done.
So. Are you ready to take the coaching?
Now is the time for New Year’s resolutions. Are you ready to take your life to the next level? Before you sign on the dotted line, know that my methods are not approved for children under eight, and for that reason, I cannot accept an application from any family with young children.
If you, or someone you love, would benefit from my services, contact my agent, Jeanette DeMars at Corgi Connection of Kansas, to negotiate the contract and discuss fees. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
(As dictated to Gretchen Anderson. Thank you, ladies, for classing up the joint).